In our house, someone is usually crying. This morning it was me.
My four children have this amazing ability to talk to me simultaneously. Oblivious to anyone else already talking, there is always something to show me, hurts to mend, advice needed, hunger to address, or something to find. This morning I was officially burned out on chaos by 8AM. My breakfast was cold, abandoned on the counter among everyone else’s dirty breakfast dishes. The laundry pile mocked me. The kids were piling me with requests.
I volunteered to bring the food scraps out to the chickens so I could savor a moment of silence. But as I walked across the yard I could still hear the three year old wailing in protest from being told, “No, you can’t climb the refrigerator shelves.” for the umpteenth time. Tears of frustration slipped down my cheeks. I wondered how a day could be so draining one hour in. I prayed. I asked God for an extra dose of patience and some grace. Because this mom gig is really really hard.
I walked back inside to discover the dog chewing a beloved toy and the three year old screaming his displeasure, trying to wrestle it out of his mouth. I had been meaning to walk that dumb dog all morning but kept getting sidetracked. I ordered my older son to tie him up outside. The three-year old went back to climbing the fridge shelves.
Then the dog started barking.
Ask anyone who knows me well – I can’t abide a barking dog. They are the BANE of my existence. It was the last straw of my morning. I snapped at my oldest to watch the preschooler so I could walk HER dog! (Hoping she’d sense the accusation in my voice.) I headed out to the porch and started putting my shoe on, yelling at the dog like a crazy person to shut up. Exasperated, I did what any hot head would do: I threw my other shoe at him. He was delighted with this and ceased barking … only to start chewing on my brand new shoe.
Outraged, I hobbled across the lawn to retrieve my shoe and was clotheslined by the overexcited 60 pound dog who thought this was all a very fun game. I now had a wet foot with grass clippings all over it. So I balanced on one foot, batting the dog away, trying to wipe the grass off my other foot. Steaming mad.
I heard a little giggle. I looked up to see my seven-year old watching me from her bedroom window, her eyes full of merriment, a tiny hand over her mouth to stifle her laugh. “Hi mommy. I saw you throw a shoe at Mully. How’d that work out for you?”
My predicament was obvious, especially to a child that finds herself in these situations often. A fellow victim of her own temper. She knows all about toys broken from throwing them in anger. Privileges lost because of sassy back talk. Tears of frustration from how hard life can be. This child is my mini-me. A hot head with a sense of humor. Takes one to know one. And she made me laugh.
Just like that my mood was lifted. Poof. Joy can do that.
I have been thinking a lot about joy lately. These moments of joy which bring us out of our funk and our darkness. Laughter heals and lifts our spirits. Joy is such a gift. My daughter offers it freely to her impatient, imperfect mother. And Christ offers it freely to all of us.
I have been praying Psalm 51:10-13 lately:
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
This Psalm hits home on so many levels. I desperately crave a pure heart, a heart that finds the good in things and is molded by Christ. I need Him to renew my spirit and to sustain me. When I find myself bogged down by the dailyness of life it is only the power of the Holy Spirit which gets me through it. The gift of joy allows me to break from the tedium of life and laugh. And its wonderful.
CS Lewis wrote, “Joy is the serious business of Heaven.” He was explaining that joy will be the norm in Heaven. Because in Heaven we will not be tethered to the daily frustration, anxiety, fear, pain, plannings, and difficulties we face on earth. Snippets of merriment and joy we experience in our earthly lives are but previews of what we will experience in Heaven. God wants us to get over ourselves and laugh. He wants us to have joy in our hearts because without it our lives would be bleak, indeed.
I hope you join me in praying for more joy. More of a steadfast spirit. More of Him. And when you are feeling crabby or have a friend who is in a funk, let that joy spill over. It is the author and creator of your soul who gave you that joy. And He knows we need it.
“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22